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What is Social Anxiety?  

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PsychNG Services
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01/03/2019 10:54 am  

What is Social Anxiety?

Social anxiety is the fear of being judged and evaluated negatively by other people, leading to feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, self-consciousness, embarrassment, humiliation, and depression.

If a person usually becomes (irrationally) anxious in social situations, but seems better when they are alone, then "social anxiety" may be the problem.

Specific and Generalized Social Anxieties

A specific social anxiety would be the fear of speaking in front of groups (only), whereas people with generalized social anxiety are anxious, nervous, and uncomfortable in almost all social situations.

It is much more common for people with social anxiety to have a generalized type of this disorder.  When anticipatory anxiety, worry, indecision, depression, embarrassment, feelings of inferiority, and self-blame are involved across most life situations, a generalized form of social anxiety is at work.

Symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder

People with social anxiety disorder usually experience significant emotional distress in the following situations:

  • Being introduced to other people
  • Being teased or criticized
  • Being the center of attention
  • Being watched while doing something
  • Meeting people in authority ("important people")
  • Most social encounters, especially with strangers
  • Going around the room (or table) in a circle and having to say something
  • Interpersonal relationships, whether friendships or romantic

This list is certainly not a complete list of symptoms -- other feelings have been  associated with social anxiety as well.

The physiological manifestations that accompany social anxiety may include intense fear, racing heart, turning red or blushing, excessive sweating, dry throat and mouth, trembling (fear of picking up a glass of water or using utensils to eat), swallowing with difficulty, and muscle twitches, particularly around the face and neck.

Constant, intense anxiety that does not go away is the most common feature.

People with social anxiety disorder know that their anxiety is irrational and does not make rational (i.e., cognitive) sense.  Nevertheless, "knowing" something is not the same thing as "believing" and "feeling" something.

Thus, for people with social anxiety, thoughts and feelings of anxiety persist and show no signs of going away -- despite the fact that socially-anxious people "face their fears" every day of their lives.

Only the appropriate treatment works to alleviate social anxiety disorder, the largest anxiety disorder, and the one that few people know anything about.

Effective Therapy for Social Anxiety Disorder

The good news is that cognitive-behavioral therapy for social anxiety has been markedly successful.  Research and clinical evidence alike indicate that cognitive-behavioral therapy, which should be comprehensive in nature, produces permanent changes in the lives of people.

Social anxiety disorder can be overcome, although it takes both consistency and persistence.  But, barring cognitive problems (e.g., dementia, Alzheimer's Disease) everyone can make progress against social anxiety using the appropriate type of cognitive-behavioral therapy.

At The Social Anxiety Institute, we call cognitive-behavioral therapy for social anxiety disorder "comprehensive" cognitive-behavioral therapy, to differentiate it from the general idea that cognitive concepts are simplistic and can be addressed by using only a few strategies.

A successful therapy program for social anxiety disorder must address the dozens of cognitive methods, strategies, and concepts that will allow people's brains (i.e., their brain associations or neural pathways) to literally change.  The brain is continually learning, and irrational thoughts and beliefs can change as a result of this cognitive process.  

A good therapy program will supply the necessary and specific strategies as well as indicate to people how and why they need to practice, work on, and begin to accept rational thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and perceptions.

How To Find Help for Social Anxiety Disorder

Social anxiety, as well as the other anxiety disorders, can be successfully treated.  In seeking support for this problem, search for a specialist -- someone who (a) understands this problem well and (b) knows from experience how to treat it.

Become an informed client and ask questions.  For example, does the therapist understand that you feel very self-conscious and that others are watching and forming a negative evaluation about you? – or do they minimize what you’re saying and just say, "No, No, No, you’re fine ... you're just exaggerating...." or expect you to go out and do unreasonable "exposures"?

It is true that we who have lived through social anxiety do realize our mind is many times irrational and we over-exaggerate, but it still FEELS like others are watching and judging us.  Our self-consciousness is a feeling and it is very real.

If your psychologist/mental health care worker does not understand this, you know more than they do about social anxiety.  Under these circumstances, it is very doubtful they will be able to help you.

Also, remember that the professional should always welcome your questions.  If someone seems unfriendly or too clinical, they should not be your choice of a therapist.

Those of us who have (or have had) social anxiety need support, encouragement, and a relatively stress-free environment while we are in therapy, so that our brain can absorb all the changes that are occurring without being damaged by external factors (i.e., negative environments, negative people).  If our environment is relatively peaceful when undergoing treatment for social anxiety, then it is easier to learn new habits that will permanently change our thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and our lives.

Does your therapist say, "Face your fears and they’ll go away?"

Sorry, but this therapist does not understand the dynamics of social anxiety.  We, as people with social anxiety, have constantly faced our fears ever since birth – we’ve had to – and we feel more fearful now than we did in the past.

In this case, seek another therapist.  It is imperative you find a psychologist who understands social anxiety disorder completely – because if they don’t even know what it is – how will they know what to do to help you overcome it?

Getting over social anxiety disorder is not an easy task, nor is it a difficult one.  Many thousands of people have already done it.

While you’re in the middle of the social anxiety syndrome, it feels hopeless – it feels that you’ll never  get any better.  Life is just one gut-wrenching anxiety problem after another.

But this can be stopped, quenched, and killed in a relatively short period of time – by finding a cognitive-behavioral therapist who understands and specializes in the treatment of social anxiety.

The most important elements in overcoming social anxiety

1. An understanding and awareness of the problem,

2. A commitment to carry through with cognitive-behavioral therapy even when it is repetitious and seems difficult,

3. Practice, practice, practice to get that information (i.e., cognitive methods, strategies, and concepts) deep down into your brain - so that these cognitive  methods become habitual and automatic,

4. Participation in a social anxiety therapy group in which you can slowly and gradually work on problems that cause you anxiety in the real world.

That is, the person who feels anxious while reading in public uses specific strategies to meet his goal, whereas the person who wants to learn how to make introductions and engage in small talk during social activities slowly works toward her goals.  We use role-plays, acting, the tape recorder and video camera, question and answer periods, mock job interviews, and doing foolish things deliberately as part of our behavioral therapy group for people with social anxiety.

Note: A ladder or "hierarchy" should be used as a flexible guide in planning.  We want to practice, meet our goals, move up our expectations, meet our goals, move up our expectations, until our goal is finally met.

Groups

Social anxiety behavioral therapy groups should not pressure, push, or cajole people to do things.  No negative tactic should be employed because the individual must choose to participate at her own pace.  If she wants to sit there in group and not say a word, that’s O.K.  No one should be made to do anything.

You may be asking, "won't people never make progress if they choose to do nothing each group?"  Here’s the secret: This has never happened.  People in the group understand why they are there and, despite an amount of anxiety that is naturally present, they voluntarily choose to work on their specific anxieties.  This is much more practical and real-life than being forced to do something.

Therapy groups for social anxiety should always be encouraging, positive, and supportive.  If the right atmosphere is set, people can make (and continue to make) progress up their "hierarchy" of social anxieties.

It is impossible to stop a motivated person who refuses to give up.  The role of the therapist is to know specifically what to do and how quickly to do it.  This sounds easy, but it is not.  You must be practicing the right material and you must proceed at the correct pace for your own anxieties.  You are more in control of this process than you think.

Today, cognitive-behavioral therapy is used to treat both forms of social anxiety.  With cognitive-behavioral therapy, we do not wallow in the past and continually bring it up --- because it doesn’t do us any good.  Instead, we focus on present-day problems and symptoms and use many small techniques and methods to eradicate anxiety thinking, feelings, beliefs, and belief systems.

Here’s where motivation and practice come in.  The more you can practice these small anti-anxiety methods and techniques, the sooner anxiety can be reduced, and social anxiety can be overcome.

Source: Social Anxiety Institute

This topic was modified 6 months ago 2 times by PsychNG Services

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5 hours ago

PsychNG

Everyone gets negative thoughts, however when you suffer from anxiety and depression- it can feel as if these thoughts are coming at us supercharged and feel like we don’t get a break. Negative thoughts can make us feel awful about ourselves and feel trapped. We may want to push away our negative thoughts, but the more we push away the thoughts, the more they come back to us. Rather than trying to get rid of these negative thoughts, it is important that we change our relationship to these thoughts.

A skill from dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) that can help is MINDFULNESS. With mindfulness, you simply observe your surroundings in a nonjudgmental manner. One mindfulness practice that can be used is ROY G BIV. So, look around your surroundings and find something that is red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. The more we respond in a nonjudgmental manner, the more the thoughts lose their power.

A skill from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is COGNITIVE RESTRUCTURING. I’ll give an example.... “I’m terrible at this”, or “why bother trying, we already know what is gonna happen” or “I can’t go because something bad will happen”
we can ask ourselves the following questions: Is the thought realistic, is the thought based on fact or feeling, evidence for the thought, what is the worst that can happen.

Another skill that can be helpful is COGNITIVE DIFFUSION, which is a skill from acceptance and commitment therapy. Here’s an example: “I suck at this”; you rephrase to “I’m having the thought that I suck at this” or “My mind is telling me that I suck at this”.

We hope this helps someone.

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4 days ago

PsychNG

The things we do (and don’t do) have a direct impact on our overall mental health.

Each day we have the opportunity to ask ourselves if the choices we make help or hurt our mental health.

When you choose to go to bed at a reasonable time in order to access restorative sleep, you’re doing something that helps your mental health.

When you neglect your own needs in sacrifice of others, you’re engaging in a behavior that is harmful to your mental health.

Taking care of our mental health requires active participation and raises the question that we are called to answer, “is this (person, place, activity, behavior) good for my mental health?”
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2 weeks ago

PsychNG

Do Away With Expectation.

We all have expectations, especially regarding interpersonal relationships. Fathers and mothers expect their children to be considerate and respectful, couples expect the respective partner will love them and be faithful and friends expect we support them in every situation. Over the years we have built a network of expectations we passed on to others. And of course, we carry on our shoulders the expectations of the others.

In fact, sometimes we are so involved in the network of expectations we have built to believe that what we think, feel or do is the norm. We believe that everyone should act, more or less, as we do, and if they don’t we judge them harshly, we get angry and feel deeply disappointed.

The main problem of thinking that everyone should act as we would do is that we’ll finish frustrated when realizing that reality doesn’t match our expectations. Therefore, feeding expectations is the most direct and fastest way to become unhappy.

pectations are like a bet that we are sure to win

Expectations are nothing more than assumptions about the future, it is as if we were betting that something will happen. But, as with gambling, there is always a possibility that what we desire won’t happen. The problem is that we never consider this possibility, so we are disappointed when we find we lost the bet. But we cannot blame others to disappoint us, in any case, we should give ourselves the “responsibility” of expecting too much from them.

Minimizing our expectations means, in practice, give to the world and people the opportunity to surprise us. It means assuming a less demanding and more open attitude. In the long run it also allows us to be happier and avoid constant disappointments and frustrations.

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2 weeks ago

PsychNG

There are choppy waters ahead and you may have been in places like this before. It may have landed you deeper in the Big Sad, so it’s always helpful to have a plan to keep your emotional skiff afloat in the coming storm.

Feelings deserve space, but they don’t get to govern your life. Tbh, you will probably break at least 2/3 of these rules, but don’t be hard on yourself if it happens.

Even if it keeping your therapy appointments, you would still be satisfied with yourself.

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4 weeks ago

PsychNG

We all have different paths to tow. Different stories to tell.

Our paths may meet, and the pace may be same at one point but the journey is always different for everyone.

Why then do we need to compare? Why do we need to use someone else as a yardstick of measurement.

The best way to know how far you’ve come is to measure where you are coming from to where you are, and then what lies ahead.

That, my friend, is the only comparison you need.

Thank you @funkejenifaakindele for the message ma 🥰😘

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